Random facts

Here are some random facts for you.

Time it takes to get from Holiday Inn to Heathrow terminal 4 - 1 hour

The check-in closes for the 19.20 Cape Town BA flight 45 minutes before takeoff

Time it takes to realise that you've left your passport in the hotel safe - 0.001 seconds

Time it takes to stop panicking about said fact - five minutes

Time it takes for a taxi to drive a passport from said hotel to Heathrow terminal 1 - a little over one hour

Cost of said taxi trip - 40 GBP

Time the stand-by check in for the Johannesburg BA flight (21.15) closes before departure - 45 minutes

Time the taxi arrives with passport before standby check-in closes - 10 minutes

Likelihood of getting a seat from the standby list - slim to none

Seat you get when you make stand-by - 40K, the end of the baby row on a BA Jumbo Jet

Time you sleep on a 12-hour flight, despite not being able to sleep on them usually, when you haven't slept for almost two days (for non-passport related reasons) and spent the past 3 hours having panick attacks at Heathrow - 7 hours (missing breakfast)

Comfort factor of the armchair in Jozi where you spend four hours eating french toast, drinking lattes and catching up on work - 10 out of 10

Likelihood of the whole story solving itself with the protagonist spending less time at airports than originally planned - slim to none (but the fact was that I missed out on the 2.5 hour flight from Cape Town to Jozi and made the early afternoon connection to Maputo no problem)

Panic factor when you realise, at passport control in Maputo, that you don't have a visa to go into the country - 9 out of 10

Elation when you find out that you can get one at the airport, that they take South African rands, and that you have enough cash - 8 out of 10

Hours you intend to sleep in your mosquito-repellant-smelling Maputo hotel room after 24 hours of hassle - 10

Well, at least it took my mind off the scarily imminent deadline...