27.9.06

I'm a celeb!

Somebody call who's who! My old friend from the Science Communication course, Catherine Brahic, who is now working with SciDev.Net (see links next door) found it suitable to quote me in her recent piece on a science funding body in Africa. Read my erudite comments on: http://www.scidev.net/content/news/eng/africa-wide-facility-to-fund-science-takes-shape.cfm

A long, hard look at that navel

As I was eating my breakfast cereal this morning on my balcony I spotted a tortoise ambling around the next door neighbour's garden. Does it live there? Is it a pet? I've no idea where it has been hiding this winter, but his appearance probably says something about the coming of spring.

Today, it's 26 degrees outside and last night was warm. First warm night since I got here. The schizoid weather poses some tough problems. Like what to wear at night. PJs or tee and shorts? To ditch or not to ditch the down duvet? It enters at Number 267 on the list of Luxury Problems of the Western World. Other recent entries include pages coming loose in your book after lying with it too long in the sauna (192) and, the long-standing chart topper, 'a wardrobe full of clothes, but nothing to wear' (1).

It has been a while since I wrote about work. I think I shall do so now. I've been pondering, for some time now, whether what we're doing here is going well, or badly. Are we reaching anyone? Are we making any money? It's hard to tell as both the sales manager and the project manager are in London. I see a trickle of subscription forms come through on the fax here (say, two or three a week) but I fear that's a drop in the ocean. As to Paul's progress on getting African universities to sign up to campus-wide subsciptions to our services I could not be more in the dark.

Maybe that is because the story is not too good at the moment. As readers of this blog will be aware, Paul the sales manager was forced to leave Cape Town and return to London because of a family crisis. Well, without going into details, he was met by another when he got back home and has been a rare sighting in the London office since. All my sympathies are with him, and of course it is not his fault that 'events, dear boy, events' happened to put us all in the position we are now. But it's very frustrating to have a bottle neck at the sales end.

Also, as we have now moved into proper subscription mode, I can't just send the PDF of the mag to every Tom, Dick and Harry who I think should have it. Man, I hate business. I just want people to read the stuff. I guess that's (one of the many, many reasons) why I'll never be rich...

In order to delve a bit deeper into my trade, I've purchased a book written by Max Hastings about being an editor. Hastings was in the 80s tasked with turning the Daily Telegraph in the UK from a 19th century conservative rag aimed at retired colonels, into a 20th century conservative rag aimed at retired colonels with the exception of those who approved of the apartheid regime in South Africa, capital punishment and objected to women's suffrage.

Although I have little in common with Hastings (the words toff, blue chip, silver spoon, grouse and pinstripe all spring to mind) we do share one crucial thing. He was a writer (a journalist and a book writer) before being asked to kick some life into the Telegraph and, like me, was confounded by the different roles an editor and a journalist hold in a publication.

Great reporters rarely make great editors. Reason: reporters and professional debaters have their being in the immediate rights and wrongs of what they see. An editor's function, by contrast, is to know and manage the long-run position of his newspaper. This frequently means holding things steady through collective hysteria or a fashionable lurch.

They are not Hasting's words, but those of his immediate superior, Andrew Knight, who had moved from the Economist to be Chief Executive of the new Telegraph. Knight's words, which FYI were prompted by a spate of strongly anti-Thatcher leaders penned by Hastings on the issue of US bombings of Libya, made me realise just how hard what I'm trying to achieve is.

As the editor and main contributor it is an impossibility to flit from one of the roles Knight describes to the other without ending up with a mess. As a trained journalist, I do want to make the splash, write the stories at their most contentious and so forth. But what kind of brain transplant will allow me, then, to pen suitably disinterested editorials?

When imagination fails, formula will have to do. So then the question becomes, what is our editorial policy?

Unlike the Telegraph we don't have any political affiliation. Yes, the parent company ResearchResearch is owned somebody who has ties to the UK Labour party. So it would be false to say there is no political influence from the top. My editor in chief usually gives my leaders the once-over and gives some much-appreciated feedback. But I refuse to pander to the incumbent UK government which is funding us, and try my hardest to avoid sounding like a white chick from Europe writing about things she's no real experience of.

But when the wind blows, on what should I lean? Everything we do has to be Africa-centred. It has to come from inside, as far as possible. But insofar as we should have any real editorial policy, I would say that it is simply pro-science. Pro-research. We look after our readers' interests. Our readers want funding. Therefore, we urge for more funding for research. And good governance of whatever means are employed to fulfil this aim.

Maybe I'm splitting hairs. Maybe nobody cares? But in a place such as Africa, where media freedom cannot be taken for granted and journalists sometimes face persecution, I reckon it's worth thinking about. I've already had some 'talkings to' from people in top positions who have opinions about what we should, and should not, meddle with. Best then to have a solid ground to stand on I think.

In the meantime, my schizophrenia seems to be in for some reprieve. Looks like the funders in the UK are happy to give us the money we (I) need to hire some helping hands. Once I've found some minions, they can do the journalistic hounding, and I can wine and dine the great and the good - and sweet talk them into thinking that Research Africa is a really, really great thing... Power of personality, it seems, is what being an editor is all about.

22.9.06

Spring Leviathan

It is a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Leviathan, come to visit these shores to breed, calve and - it seems - splash about in a most undignified manner.



The Southern Right Whale, so called because back in the day they were the 'right' ones to harpoon as they swim slow and tend not to sink when killed, are about 15 metres long. They migrate up the coast of South Africa every winter/spring to do their thing. A bunch of them congregate in the bay of Hermanus close to the true southernmost tip of Africa: Cape Arghulas (not the Cape Point). From the cliffs you can see them breaching, standing on their heads and waving their fins.

The cliffs of Hermanus are, like the slopes of Table mountain, also home to the Rock Hyrax, or Dassie as it's commonly known.



The Dassies (Klipp Dassies as we call them) are closely related to the elephant, although they look more like slender tailless beavers, and are much cheekier than your regular rodent. This pair was not impressed with the cavorting sea creatures a mile off shore but were more interested in just chilling out in the spring sun and wait for us tourists to drop a Kit Kat or something.

On this occasion the whales did not approach just right by the cliffs, as they sometimes do. But when we drove back the 1.5 hours to Cape Town we stopped at a beach on the way, and guess what was splashing in the shallows only a hundred or so metres out? That's right, a lone whale. The water is still cold, even some way up the pacific coast side, so we didn't swim out to greet it (that, and the fact that the pregnant whales attract the sharks). But walking up and down the gorgeous beach we agreed that this was probably the most scenic nursery any of us had ever seen...



19.9.06

Nothing that tea and bikkies can't cure

I'm sorry about the radio silence - I've been in one of those moods where you don't feel like doing anything. Not that there's much to report. Last weekend went along the lines of that joke in Annie Hall that Woody Allen attributes to Freud by way of Groucho Marx. "I don't want to be part of any club that wants to have me as a member."

So I hung out with me, myself... and Cousin, who kindly put up with my antics to take me to the beach on Sunday. There, I got tanned and Cousin got a little less so courtesy of my 30 SPF burka sunscreen. Apparently, after five years here she won't tan unless she's soaped up in baby oil for that extra crispy taste.

God knows why I'm out of sorts, because the issue went to the printers on time and the Apple people have promised me a new CD drive on my warranty. I have absolutely no right to indulge in sulking. I think maybe it's the recent cold spell we've had with ensuing head colds all round. You think it's summer, and then the rain comes back to bite your nose off.

Maybe it's also the pressure of the impending 9 month bikini season that is taking its toll. Nothing reminds you of the defects of your genetic make-up like the prospect of having to bare your limbs for months on end. In England, you can get away with being a sickly shade of green under your skinny jeans. Here, there is no such respite.

And the competition is fierce. This is the promised land of stay-at-home trophy wives. Even having bought into draconian gym routines I'm still way behind some of the botoxed fifty-somethings that seem to live in my Virgin Active, lifting 40 kgs where I can manage 20 just to spite me. May their 0 cal smoothies be laced with anthrax. Or that powdered protein that body builders take to bulk up. Moohawhawhaw!

12.9.06

NOT a tidal pool

There's a lake on top of Table Mountain! And a beach! Photographic evidence below, taken during a 5.5 hour walk up and down the mountain on Sunday. Ok, so it's a man-made lake. They built reservoirs up there a hundred years ago to collect rainwater in winter to serve the city year round. In summer, the resevoirs are bone dry. But after a good rainy winter like this one they are full to the brim.


This place is full of surprises, I tell you. Well, at least it explains why, after a windy night, my car and the street around it is covered in a fine dusting of sand.

Tomorrow is press day and I'm suffering from a lack of time. My flitting around the world last week was fun and informative, but ultimately left me holding the baby in terms of getting the magazine ready.

Speaking of babies, something horrible has happened to mine. Last night, when I sat down to watch a DVD on my trusty Apple companion it started making horrible noises, like a terminal lung cancer patient, before spitting out the offending disk. Something horrible seems to have happened to it during the numerous packings and upackings, x-ray machines and Heathrow hand luggage restriction nightmares of last week. The whole CD drive seems buggered. Woe!

Suits me right after telling my fellow mountain-climbing companions on Sunday night that, "Had I given birth to it and shared with it my genes, I could not love it more." It's like Samson and his hair, Achilles and his heel, Icarus and his waxy wings. A damn Greek tragedy.

Speaking to Mother last night in my grief, she wisely pointed out, "At least it wasn't a tooth". Apparently, her mother (may she rest in peace) used to say that the worst thing that could happen to you was to lose a tooth. Cuts heal, things can be replaced, laptops can be repaired. But teeth don't grow back (unless you're a shark, in which case they do).

Take that, Greek philosophers! Your old mythology may be a great source of metaphor, but they all end in tragedy. Better to take on board my old Nan's words, and think more along the lines of a cheesy American movie. Samson has his hair cut off, and THINKS he's lost all his powers, but it turns out that in fact they were there all along, as inseparable from him as the colour of his eyes. So there. My ability to pull this rag together has nothing to do with my shiny Mac. I can cope without it while it's in for repairs (although I'm not handing it in until after press day). And I should CERTAINLY not think of the broken CD drive as an omen, or a metaphor. Now, let's tackle that 1200-word analysis...

By the way, below are some photos from Maputo. The chaps are doing Capoeira, in case you were wondering. One of them is upside down. There is a pic of my hotel, in which it looks nicer than in reality. And the last one is of the baggage people at the airport playing cards, waiting for the plane to land. Nice life!




9.9.06

I bought some wine with my last Mitikai

If corrugated iron were the national currency Mozambique would be a rich country. The shacks and shanties of its suburbs are plated with the stuff, half-buried, it seems, in the intermittent malaria-ridden swamps that encircle the city of Maputo. I’m actually on my way out now, waiting for the South African airways flight that will take me back to Jozi and my transfer to Cape Town.

My two nights in Maputo have been somewhat of a drag. But an intriguing drag, if drags can be intriguing without becoming something more interesting. The conference wasn’t much use. I’ll didn’t get a scoop, just a bog standard and even somewhat old-news story.

But, I feel, I gained something much more important. Exposure with the bods who call the shots in the African Union, who so far have seemed somewhat suspicious of my little venture. Now I’ve got an invitation secured for the congress of scientists in Alexandria at the end of October – and face-to-name time with people like Dr Tema, director of the AU Human Resources, Science and Technology directorate. I’ve realized that, with most of the stuff being written about Africa coming from outside of Africa, being THERE is what really counts with these guys.

This is a lovely place, I will come back. The light is altogether softer than in South Africa. It must be the humidity tempering the sun. And the seas are warm and calm. At high tide, barely a foot-high wall keeps the ocean at bay. It makes it feel like the city is sinking.

It reminds me of Goa. The palm trees, the warm seas, the low-rise buildings, the potholed roads. And, in the place you’d least expect it – Maputo airport, little more than a barn – a free wireless internet connection…

Pictures coming soon!

7.9.06

Random facts

Here are some random facts for you.

Time it takes to get from Holiday Inn to Heathrow terminal 4 - 1 hour

The check-in closes for the 19.20 Cape Town BA flight 45 minutes before takeoff

Time it takes to realise that you've left your passport in the hotel safe - 0.001 seconds

Time it takes to stop panicking about said fact - five minutes

Time it takes for a taxi to drive a passport from said hotel to Heathrow terminal 1 - a little over one hour

Cost of said taxi trip - 40 GBP

Time the stand-by check in for the Johannesburg BA flight (21.15) closes before departure - 45 minutes

Time the taxi arrives with passport before standby check-in closes - 10 minutes

Likelihood of getting a seat from the standby list - slim to none

Seat you get when you make stand-by - 40K, the end of the baby row on a BA Jumbo Jet

Time you sleep on a 12-hour flight, despite not being able to sleep on them usually, when you haven't slept for almost two days (for non-passport related reasons) and spent the past 3 hours having panick attacks at Heathrow - 7 hours (missing breakfast)

Comfort factor of the armchair in Jozi where you spend four hours eating french toast, drinking lattes and catching up on work - 10 out of 10

Likelihood of the whole story solving itself with the protagonist spending less time at airports than originally planned - slim to none (but the fact was that I missed out on the 2.5 hour flight from Cape Town to Jozi and made the early afternoon connection to Maputo no problem)

Panic factor when you realise, at passport control in Maputo, that you don't have a visa to go into the country - 9 out of 10

Elation when you find out that you can get one at the airport, that they take South African rands, and that you have enough cash - 8 out of 10

Hours you intend to sleep in your mosquito-repellant-smelling Maputo hotel room after 24 hours of hassle - 10

Well, at least it took my mind off the scarily imminent deadline...

3.9.06

At the airport again

Right, I’m here again. So what happened? Well, yesterday a woman from the Open University with whom I’m in contact for a story phoned me. A work contact calling on a Saturday morning isn’t always good news. But this time, it was.

She said that she’s is in charge of this conference next week in London – something to do with genetic manipulation and development - and one of the South African delegates had cancelled at the last minute. They had a flight booking, a hotel booking all set. All they needed was somebody who could jump on a plane without needing a visa. I’m flattered to say that they thought of me – not to mention glad to get a three-day all expenses paid trip back home.

So here I am, about to board a BA flight to Heathrow. CNN business travella! Breakfast meeting in Cape Town, lunch meeting in New York. That sort of thing. BA 58 – just in case more planes fall out of the sky and anybody out there wants to know whether or not I was on it. What was it this morning? A UK army transport in Afghanistan? But I digress.

The hand luggage restrictions don’t seem to apply on inbound flights to the UK. I’m bringing ALL my luggage into the cabin. Not that it’s much. I must be a contender for the Guinness book of records – if it were a question of checking in the biggest luggage item I reckon it’d be my laptop bag…

I’ll be in London until Wednesday night, when I’ll go back here only to do an about-turn and fly out to Jo-burg and on to Maputo, Mozambique, for a conference on education. Back in Cape Town properly on Saturday next week.
I’m a little worried about getting issue number four together in time for my deadline on Wednesday the week after. But the conferences should give me access to some key people and I’ll be able to polish off a fair bit of the news pages at airports and flights. Thank god for wi-fi! At least that’s the plan.

A tiny baby is complaining behind me in the departure lounge – I hope I’m not next to it on the flight. It would be just my luck… I wonder if there is ANY way for me to slip some of the sedatives I bought for myself into its formula. But it’s too small to be on formula. And there must be a law against injecting strange women with tranquilizer to shut up their children or everybody would be doing it.

Back in London this week

Ok, no time gotta rush but I'm flying to London tonight and staying till Wed night. Work, not play (or even emergencies) but if you have my UK phone number give me a call.