The Catnapper

I've been adopted by a cat. I think I've mentioned her in previous posts. She turned up when I moved in and made it very clear from the start that she wasn't going anywhere. This has been problematic. Don't get me wrong, she's a lovely cat - if a little too keen on running noisily from the balcony to the loft via the blue chair and the spiral staircase in the middle of the night for no apparent reason.

I'm a BABY PANTHER!

The problem is that she's not mine. She's the neighbour's. A neighbour, I must add, that she seems to hate to the point where she hides in my kitchen cupboards when I go out so she won't be forced outside. This confused me. What kind of creature chooses love over food? I mean, I'd understand if we were talking about a human, or a dog. But a cat? Surely to them the two are synonymous?

It started as a stand-off. I wasn't going to feed her, I was quite adamant about it. But then one day she spent 10 hours in a cupboard and when I found her I felt so guilty I gave her some kitten biscuits (I'd bought them for emergencies, er) and now she won't leave the house even when the sun is shining except to go to the toilet (I hope, or I'll be finding a very sodden patch soon in the loft).

DON'T play with the blind coz mummy gets very annoyed at 6 am and wants to turn you into a fur collar

So it seems I'm a catnapper. Yes I know, I need to speak to my neighbour, since if she sees the food bowls on the balcony she'll get the wrong idea and think that I had a choice in all this. I didn't! The cat chose me. But what to do when I move from here? What might become of her, my little Olivia Twist. "Please, can I have some more? Miaouw??"

"What happens if I walk all over the keys like this?" Winter is a good time for working from home. Did I say home? Bed, I meant.

Well, if she doesn't stop stepping on my face when I'm asleep the problem may cease to be. She'd make some very nice gloves. Or I'll send her to China. There, they make cat's toys out of other cats. Interesting ethics, that.